Shouty Ornithological Car Salesman Cryptid Adventures

Matt here to give my side of what happened on the hunt last night.
 
Picked up Bo after work and we headed to Rossville. In general this isn't something one does to their friends, but at least she got some beer out of it.
 
Bubba told me he could see the creepy cryptid pacing back and forth at the once-upon-a Rossville Collision Center. Currently, the building looks like it could win third place in the Find-Rossville's-Enema-Insertion-Point Contest, but back in the day it used to be Happy Motors.
 
Some of y'all probably remember their mascot, a cracked-out yellow bird into which some poor bastard would pour himself and yell out "I GOT IT! I GOT IT!" on camera as though that made any sense whatsoever, after which point the meth-addled administration would syndicate it to local channels for the purpose of assaulting our eyes and ears between bouts of infomercials and terrible late night movies on Fox 61 or whatever.
 
It's a living, I guess, but one of the poor dudes who had to wear that stupid bird seems to have died and haunts, sadly, that suit. So I guess it's more a.... dying?
 
I asked Bo for ideas to help the guy. Thought I heard some vague threats against a Peter Griffin fella but that could've just been me thinking too loudly about Family Guy, which admittedly happens from time to time. She thought maybe we could offer him a beer and brought him one but he didn't seem to notice.
 
I called Bubba and told him it's not a cryptid but he was right to let me know. He asked me not to do anything because he wants to show his other friends, which is dickish in my opinion. That's the spirit of some dude in there. No one* deserves an afterlife of eternity in an obnoxious chicken suit.
 
Bo picked her beer back up and started Googling. I have no idea what she was even searching for.
I went to Food City down the road and picked up a shit-ton of salt, poured it around the perimeter of the collision center. We'll figure it out later. I wanna help this guy.
___
* On reflection, I can think of several people who deserve exactly this, but I still don't want to be responsible for it

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